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    很搞笑的日常生活吐槽段子 周末輕松笑話爆笑上演

     來源:指客網 (www.thfdigital.com)   欄目:整人笑話   時間:2017-06-09

    小偷第二次來商店偷東西時被警察抓住了。警察問:“你難道不知道要被抓住嗎?”小偷說:“我知道上面寫著‘歡迎再來’。”  (分享)

    小保姆嗓門特別大,主人叮囑,今晚來的都是有身份的人,說話務必小聲一點。吃完飯,主人客人玩牌,小保姆收拾完想早點休息,于是湊近男主人耳邊輕聲道:“那我先睡了哈。”  (分享)

    多日不見,心中甚是想念,故發來短信問候,以一解思念之情,你收到后不請我吃飯就是小氣,你不理睬我,那我就是天津有名的狗不理包子!哼,你看著辦!  (分享)

    有一天,一個帥哥在車站等車。看到美女對他笑,他以為自己很帥,就擺了幾個造型,一看美女笑容更加燦爛。突然一位大媽說:小伙子!別站狗糞上!  (分享)

    春天我想你想得花兒都開了,夏天我想你想得陽光都暖了,秋天我想你想得果實都熟了,冬天我想你想得雪花都飄了,短信發出后,我想:哥們,錢也該還了吧!  (分享)

    你小時真調皮!一森林為杜絕火災,豎一標語:“請勿留下火種!”第二天,吸煙者有恃無恐,小情侶一見卻嘻嘻地跑開了,原來你把“火”字的兩點去掉了!  (分享)

    三十歲的男人正在學壞、抱著同一代唱著同樣的愛,四十歲男人已經學壞、抱著下一代唱著遲來的愛,五十歲男人最壞、抱著第三代、唱著糊涂的愛。  (分享)

    其實你就是肚子大了點,脖子細了點;個頭矮了點,頭發少了點;牙齒黃了點,眼睛小了點;大腿短了點,肌肉少了點!除了這些,你就是百分之百的帥哥!  (分享)

    假如時光可以靜止,我希望停留在你最幸福的那一刻。假如時光可以倒流,我希望回到你我兒童的時光,過著無憂慮的日子,每天都能見到你那滿臉的,鼻涕!  (分享)

    一江春水一江濤,一山更比一山高,發個信息給草包,草包準把手機掏,掏出手機低頭看,看完轉發不難辦,手指疾走快如電,轉回給我我也愿!  (分享)

    甲:好久沒聯絡的同學一直向我推銷一套百科全書,煩!我就直接給他說“少來這一套”!乙:他有什么反應?甲:結果他又介紹我另一套!  (分享)

    發你短信別無他意,并非有事相求于你,也非沒事無聊至極,更不是要你請客加深情誼,只想給你小小提醒:勞累一周身心憊疲,周末像豬一樣休息!  (分享)

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