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    個人頭像-9099
    zcxd
    爸爸有一測謊器,他問小明:你今天數學成績如何?小明回答道:A!測謊器響了。不,是B!機器又響了!爸爸生氣道:我以前都是得A的!測謊機翻到了
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    個人頭像-54853
    音樂的旋律
    一個三歲的小男孩拉著一個三歲的小女孩的手說:\"我愛你。\"小女孩說:\"你能為我的未來負責嗎?\"小男孩說:當然能!我們都不是一兩歲的人了!
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    個人頭像-11500
    ha516416
    一個女人問一個男人:你知道世上什么最堅強?男的說:不知道。女人說:你的胡子。男人問:為什么?女回答:因為你的臉皮這么厚它還能破皮而出。
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    個人頭像-11500
    ha516416
    病人:我病重嗎?大夫:不瞞你說不輕!病人:你開的藥管用嗎?大夫說:好使!病人:吃多少病能好呢?大夫:吃多少好我說不準!但是吃多少死我能告訴你
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    個人頭像-9099
    zcxd
    佛祖說:“封唐僧為旃檀功德佛,封悟空被斗戰勝佛,封沙僧金身羅漢,白龍馬加升為八部天龍,咦,八戒呢?”悟空道:“八戒在看短信呢。”
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    個人頭像-11500
    ha516416
    兩女聊天,甲:“你相親怎樣?”乙:“別提了。那天見面,他非要請我吃龍蝦,還帶我去公園草地散步,我問他,嫁給他要去哪蜜月,他居然說去釣魚島!”
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    個人頭像-9048
    zhanliping
    法律規定:男人22歲才能結婚,可是18歲就能當兵。這說明了三個問題:一是殺人比做丈夫更容易;二是過日子比打仗難;三是女人比敵人更難對付。
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    個人頭像-9099
    zcxd
    蚊子對螞蚱說:我走桃花運了,今早我碰到楓樹時,她臉紅了;經過茄子身邊時,她羞得不敢抬頭,她們肯定都愛上我了!螞蚱:少自作動情了,昨晚霜降!
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    個人頭像-9099
    zcxd
    寶馬碰到了奔馳,奔馳司機氣勢洶洶用手指著車牌責問寶馬司機:“你沒有看到00544?”寶馬司機也毫不刻氣地指著自己的車牌“44944”
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    個人頭像-58300
    renjinwei
    兒子老愛問問題:“媽媽,雞蛋從那來的?”“當然是母雞下的呀。”“那我母雞下的蛋,被我吃了,小雞從哪里來?”
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    個人頭像-9099
    zcxd
    身穿阿瑪尼,打金利來,戴勞力士,滿含期待她款款走來。她眼前一亮問:你做什么工作?別人說我下崗待業,其實養貓是專業。她轉身離去。我養的是熊貓!
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    個人頭像-8506
    祥爺
    上中學的女兒和父母鬧別扭,一整天不說話,母親一怒之下說:“你還反了天了,我就不信我們倆個更年輕管不了你這個青春期!”
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    個人頭像-10979
    lydw
    妻子在臥室里赤裸著身體照鏡子,自己打量了半天,對丈夫說:我看上去又胖又丑,難看死了,說句好話安慰安慰我吧!丈夫看了看說:你的眼光真準!
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    個人頭像-9099
    zcxd
    開心一笑:作家應征入伍。班長問:念過小學?他答:是!還念過中學,且在大學取得三個學位。班長點點頭,高舉一塊橡皮印在紙上印下倆字:識字!
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    個人頭像-9290
    yanglanbin
    七月十七是傳說中的干凈日,我把房子打掃了,玻璃擦了,地板也洗了。看你蓬頭垢面的,請你洗個澡吧!等你洗干凈,我就能做豬肉燉粉條了!哈哈!
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    個人頭像-9099
    zcxd
    一個懶漢要求介紹一份最輕松的工作,結果被安排去看墳場,可沒干多久,便跑回來憤憤不平地對介紹人說:這活太不公平了,他們都躺著,讓我一個人站著
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    個人頭像-11122
    liuxin
    你美你美,小兒麻痹的胳膊鄭智化的腿,曉露的鼻子李豁子的嘴,衩著胳膊顛著腿,哭著喊著去選美,要問此人名是誰,誰不轉發就是誰。
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    個人頭像-50572
    鐵血
    男人二十是半成品,三十是成品,四十是精品,五十是極品,六十是上品,七十是廢品,八十是紀念品。請問你是哪一品?
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    個人頭像-8506
    祥爺
    特渴,去一小賣部買了瓶冰紅茶。喝了一半發現是山寨的,已經喝了,也沒有說什么。一看瓶蓋,再來一瓶,馬上給老板說中獎了,再給一瓶。老板淡定地說,你再仔細看看。我再一看,“再買一瓶”!
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    個人頭像-10979
    lydw
    一位同學背誦《論語十則》中的“知之為知之不知為不知”一段,但半天只是“知之、知之”地重復兩個字,老師說:你老是吱吱,是不是暑假捕蟬被蟬傳染了?
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